Well, thanks for meeting me again; especially on such short notice. Still no for the coffee then? Okay, sorry; just a habit really. When your special talent is making the stuff, it becomes second nature to ask if ponies want a cup.
No, still no backsliding from Discord yet. I'll be honest, it's been weeks since I had a nightmare about him or the Chaos Day; same with Gaia and her day, I'm still giving Fluttercruel her coffee when she stops by the shop. Nice girl really, despite what the name suggests; but I didn't really ask you to come here to talk about the Flutters, or any of the other Elements. I don't want to talk about the Princesses, or Discord, or what's happen in my life so far.
No... I want to talk about what hasn't happened.
Oh, don't give me those looks; seriously, don't. You literally know exactly what I'm talking about; you pretend that you don't, but you really do. Though need to keep a better eye on your transcripts in the future.
Oh, NOW I've got your attention, don't I? And will you stop acting surprised? Ponies are curious, even ponies like me; I'd imagine that they've all been so distracted by what's been happening to really think about anything else, maybe that was way you got so lax about it. But, during our last interview, I saw it; you left your transcripts out and I snagged one from each of you. You probably didn't notice, I guess one or two get lost among all the others you do, but that doesn't matter since there are three of you, you always have stuff in triplicate, probably so you can not worry about one of you misplacing a paper or something.
But, again, that's not important.
All the stuff in there... none of you seem like the type of pony to just pen fantasy, but you've got things in your interviews that I know didn't happen; things that retroactively DIDN'T happen after they were systematically destroyed. Yeah, saw those notes too; rather sobering to read about a world being erased from existence because it had been made too perfect, or how at the end even finding something to fight for and actually becoming something more wasn't enough to save them. Or how about all those different ways events happened? Like the one where the Earth Pony becomes so lost in his hatred of Fluttershy he dreams of killing all of Equestria; or the different ways Ms. Doo experienced the Chaos Day? Or all those other things that did not happen. What in Pony Hell ARE YOU!?
Fine, don't answer that question, I suppose I've got no place to ask it; but then answer me this one: I'm one of those things that 'Didn't Happen', aren't I?
No; no don't walk away! Please, I'm begging you; I have to know. I have to know! I HAVE TO KNOW! Am I just something extra? Am I just something that was tacked on? Am I just something that was for one thing!? Was I made just so to hate Fluttershy and then let go of it?! Am I just completely meaningless!? WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME!?!
You came back?
I... I don't understand. Why would you even bother; like I said, I'm just something extra, something that was tacked on for one purpose. I'm not going to matter in the long run, nothing I say or do will have any effect on anything. I'll probably go upstairs and go to sleep after I decide to drink myself into it, knowing I'm not going to have work in morning to deal with the hangover, and simply not wake up.
No, I don't mean I'm going to do what I said at the end of our first interview. I'm not going to die, I'm just not going to exist any more; like those ponies you wrote about, Kimono and all the others from that time that never happened. I'll just be gone, no pony will ever know who Coffee Swirl was; they'll just look at you like you're crazy talking about some meaningless pegasus who wasted his wings brewing coffee when he could have been flying. They'll talk about how no pegasus is that stupid, to live their life solely on ground, talk about how Fluttershy's a special case or just give her a pass thanks to the Gaia incident. But me, even my shop and my house will be gone; everything I've ever done with them.
I should be more upset by knowing this, since none of you have bothered to tell me I'm wrong, but the fact is, I'm just numb. I mean, what's the proper response to finding out that you're nothing but a meaningless extra to reality and your life was just leading up to a single moment? I can't even do what they did near the end and fight for my existence; for the love of the Sisters, I'm a coffee shop owner, I'm probably the literal least important pony in Ponyville. And I can't change that; even if I could, I'm not even sure I'd want to. What am I going to do? Kill Fluttershy in her sleep? Go crazy looking to magic that defies unicorn powers in an attempt to take on the princesses? Find a way to summon whatever that evil force was that possessed Luna and Flutrershy and tear Equstria apart? Just become some sort of murderer that kills ponies with a random number system to decide who gets it?
Yeah, I'm not proud to say I considered those options; but, end of the day, I just don't have it in me to kill another pony. More to the point, even if I did that, I'd still run out of time at the end anyway. It'd just be a shift in the purpose I'd have to fulfill; I guess my situation really is hopeless, huh?
No, no; I'm still not going to kill myself, you don't have to worry about that. Kinda pointless to do it when you're just going to cease to exist anywhere really. But, if this is going to be my last hurrah here, I'm going to make it one pony hell of a 'hurrah'. Probably talk to Pinkie Pie, see if I can get her to have a party, tell her I'm leaving town tomorrow or something; it's not exactly a lie really. You can even come if you want, just don't expect me to do another interview.
But, even if you don't come, can you do me one favor? Can you remember me? Even if I stop existing and get erased, can you remember me, please? That's all I ask, that's all I really wanted to ask when I called you here; just, please, remember me.
Thank you for your time.
(Interviewer's notes (Earth Pony): Um. We kinda sorta let you read them.)
(Interviewer's notes (Pegasus): Because you're just a coffee shop owner! No pony would give you a second look!)
(Interviewer's notes (Unicorn): And we would tell you, but-)
(Interviewer's notes (Pegasus): But that would screw over our self appointed job right now.)
(Interviewer's notes (Unicorn): Do not interrupt me. )
(Interviewer's notes (Pegasus): Just saying it straight.)
(Interviewer's notes (Earth Pony): Please don't fight.)
(Interviewer's notes (Unicorn): And your life is too orderly and predictable to draw attention of eyes and ears that can be anywhere at any time.)
(Interviewer's notes (Pegasus): Celestia, I mean Princess Celestia gave Twilight the truth to do with as she pleases. Now the truth is yours to do with as you please.)
And suppose I told ponies? Suppose I chose to share this truth? And I don't mean the canned response of 'They won't believe you'. The simple fact is: yes, they will. Not all of them, obviously, but there are a few ponies who will believe just about anything; then there's that one colt your wrote about: Lickity-Split. He knows the old tales, the ones you mentioned it the notes, he would probably believe these tales as well.
What happens if I do that? Something has to happen, otherwise the truth wouldn't be hidden.
(Unicorn: Which truth? There are several. )
(Pegasus: No offense dude but seriously, we're talking cosmic mojo, just saying 'the truth' covers a lot. So ya mean reveal EVERY SINGLE THING you HAPPENED to see when we let you take a peak? )
(Unicorn: I believe your reaction says why it's 'hidden', though 'turned a blind eye to' is more like it. Ponies will misinterpret what you say. No matter how carefully you explain it to those YOU tell, the people they tell sooner or later will jump to conclusion. )
(Earth: And Mister, we're not bad ponies. I'm not a bad pony. We wouldn't do anything to you if you chose to tell everypony. )
Yeah... yeah, you're right; I should know that better than anypony really, with how I had to deal with all those ponies that thought I wanted to hurt Fluttershy for what she did as Gaia. And I know you're not bad ponies, kid; honestly, if these notes of yours prove ANYTHING, it's that there's no such thing as a 'bad pony'.
Or a bad anything, really; shocking as that sounds.
Okay, I get why you want to keep them secret, or at least not make them obvious. But, then what's the point of letting them exist? A story that's never told defeats the purpose of the story. Yes, yes; doctor/patient confidentiality, but let's be honest, I like honesty: You're not normal doctors, or normal ponies either for that matter. I don't care what you are, that's not my concern, but you've put together quite the collection of stories here, stories that only I and- according to you- Twilight Sparkle have read.
These stories could help a lot of ponies, even with the ones that would misinterpret them as something other than what they were, at least as many- if not more- ponies wouldn't. There are ponies that NEED to hear some of the things these talk about.
You mentioned eyes and ears that wouldn't be drawn to a coffee shop owner; I'm not going to ask a lot of questions, I don't need to know a lot, but is there a way to get these stories out there without drawing their attention?
(Pegasus: "I'd go for doing so -after- the dust has settled, or better yet the dust has been avoided being thrown up in the air at all. Sadly dude, the more we -say- rather than -ask- the more attention we draw. And the more attention we draw the more we risk it biting us in the flank! And the more we try to lead the questions the more it gonna try to buck us in the face. Basically keep your head down until the next big end of the Equestria scenario blows over, we'll drop you a line if it doesn't happen period, not that there's much luck of that happening. Trust us, you'll know it." )
Okay, I think I can do that; provided that I don't die or somehow end up erased by whatever's coming anyway. But... thanks; no, seriously, I mean it. You said it yourself, my life it so mundane that no one looks twice at me; it's nice to feel important. Even if you're just doing this to stop me from whining, or doing something I'll regret, it's still nice to feel like you matter.
(Interviewer's notes (Earth Pony): "But Mister.")
(Interviewer's notes (Pegasus):: "Haven't you learned a damn thing from reading those notes?")
(Interviewer's notes (Unicorn): "There is NO SUCH THING as an 'unimportant' life my little pony.)