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Can I get you something to drink?  I know my flank has a cup of coffee on it, but it's not like it's the only thing I have.  No?  Okay, hope you don't mind if I indulge myself though; I sorta need this right now.

I'll be honest, I didn't think you guys would notice me; I mean, I'm a nopony.  I don't contribute to the community outside of selling them coffee when they need a jolt to wake up; I don't have anything big in my history; I'm not related to anypony famous... actually, why are you here?  My friends from work called and asked you to see why I'd been acting odd lately?  Huh, go figure; nice to know they care I guess.  Yeah, I guess they're right, I have been acting a little weird for a while now.

No, no; it's not that.  I went to the shrinks same as everypony else when I snapped back from Discord's tricks.  I gotta tell you, being a sentient pool of coffee that other ponies were trying to drink is an experience I never want to go through again.  I guess I don't need to tell you that I got over it, since I'm drinking this now, but it was only recently that I could so much as touch the stuff without being high as a kite on anti-psychosis drugs.  Save the jokes, it's still a valid expression even for us Pegasi.

But yeah, I really did get over the whole Chaos Day thing eventually; or as close to it as anypony was going to get.  I'll still have the occasional nightmare about it, but it's nowhere near what it used to be.

'What's bugging you then'?  Wow, real professional language there, buddy; thought you were some sort of 'royal interviewers' or something.  Anyway, I guess it's time I came clean with everything; and I know you're not going to like it.

I hate Fluttershy.

Or 'Princess Gaia', to use what everypony's calling her.

Yeah, yeah; I know about her speech where she said she'd accept that ponies hated her.  And no, I didn't throw the rock; but whoever it was has some serious respect from me, their a lot braver than I am.  I was cowering in my house during the whole Celestia damned festival they threw for her; utterly terrified that they were going to bust in my door and wrap me in whatever brainwashing they had to be under.  And it never stopped; they still sing her praises, just not to her face anymore.  I hear them in the shop, every day, talking about how wonderful the 'Day of Innocence' was; it's all I can do to bit my tongue, force a grimace on my face and keep doing my job.

Go on, say it, I know you want to.  You think I'm being 'unfair' or 'too hard on her'; that's what everypony I've told this to has said.  Well, you can go buck yourselves too; same as all of them.  I know what it's like to be the only pony making sense around here; they all want to go back to being a bunch of stupid foals, they want to stop thinking and just be a bunch of mindlessly happy idiots for the rest of time!  They need a good smack in the face wake-up call, that would put a few heads back on right!



-----------------




...Okay, okay; I'm calm now.  No, I don't need a doctor to give me a sedative; I'll keep it under control from now on.

Of COURSE I have issues with it!  Everypony's singing her praises for what she did to the sky, with only one or two ponies like me who actually have the sense to realize how utterly wrong what she did is.

Yes, I was happy during it; and that's the point!  I flew my wings off to get away from the fog, and it still caught me; I was turned into a foal, same as everypony else, and she made me happy because that's what I wanted.  Don't you get it; she made me happy to be a foal when I was a fully grown pegasus!  She made me happy to run around like an idiot, not thinking about what I was doing!  She made me happy that I was living in a pedophile's dream world!  Oh don't give me that look!  A world of trusting foals, none of them able to think more than five minutes in front of their face, not able to be anything other than happy to be alive and not able to so much as recognize danger when they saw it; it was entirely a dream come true for sickos like that!

I don't care that it didn't happen; all it would take was one pony smart enough to find a way to counter her gaze and they would have had a field day.  Magic is magic, even the princesses can be fooled and deceived; why should she be any different?

And let's not even get started on the fact that they're praising her for doing the exact thing that Discord and Nightmare Moon did before her: Twisting Equestria to fit her own vision of what's 'perfect'.  At least those two had the decency to let you be horrified!  But no; she made you love it, every second of it as she turned the entire world into her own personal playground!  She didn't give us a day of innocence, she gave us a day of ignorance; we lost everything we learned, everything that we'd become over the years, the entire concept of what was right and wrong was gone and replaced with her own values on how the world should work.  She was 'mommy' and mommy's always right.

What were we supposed to do if she hadn't been stopped (Yes, 'stopped'; there's no way she'd give up on this willingly.)?  Were we supposed to just stop living?  Oh yes, we would have been 'alive', but we wouldn't have been living.  We'd be stuck as a bunch of ignorant little brats; never aging, never learning, never actually growing up and getting all the wisdom that comes from it.  AND WE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY ABOUT IT!

They all keep going on and on about how great it was, how great it would have been to stay that way.  They're so stupid, I'll go so far as to say they never actually stopped being that way; don't they realize what they'd sign up for if it had happened?  Don't they know how... empty that existence is.



No, I'm not okay.  Did you know that I've looked at all the pills I still have?  I almost considered grinding them up and putting them in this coffee; I've got enough that it would be nearly twenty times the recommended dose.  That would be enough to end it all.  'Suicidal' is an ugly word, but yeah, you can call me it; how could I not be?  In the passed two years, I've lived through three mad deities warping the world to their own desires; two of which warped the ponies in it as well.  I just want it all to stop; I want to be able to wake up and not wonder if I'm suddenly going to be turned into a lizard, or have the sky fall down around me, or Celestia knows what else!

...look, can we just stop with the questions now?  I don't want to talk anymore.

No, you don't need to call the doctor or one the shrinks; I'll be here tomorrow.  Stop by, you can have a cup on me; your choice and everything, the least I can do for you listening to me.
When you have an unpopular opinion, it's hard to to get anyone else to listen to you; even if that's what you need.

STORIES ARE NOW OPTION CANON WITH MAIN SERIES

Okay; just so that you all have some vague idea about what the hell the point of this is, it's related to :iconalexwarlorn:'s Pony POV series, specifically the Butterflies and Princess Gaia arcs. I've always had a lot of issues with how the Gaia arc of the series ended, most of which I mentioned in comments on the story itself, and the Butterflies arc that dealt with more of the followup gave me the inspiration to write this.

I realize that it's mostly a vent piece for my own opinions, and I even used my Ponysona for it, but I just needed to get it out of my head. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone in writing this.
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:iconredmarhuisman:
Redmarhuisman Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015
He is correct in some ways but he's unnecessarily harsh about.
Reply
:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015
Coffee Swirl is a dick; he doesn't deny it and neither do I. you don't have to be nice to be right.
Reply
:icongamexpert1990:
gamexpert1990 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014
Alright, I'm finally getting around to start scratching the surface of reading some of the "Pony POV" verse recursives. I can truly say that I almost regret not getting to these earlier, though I am glad that I finally know who Coffeev Swirl is, now...

Anyway, I admit that I can be naive a lot, and I just can't bring myself to hate Flutershy, but with that said, I cannot find a single shred of fault in Coffee Swirl's logic.
Reply
:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014
Swirl has some... interesting takes on things.
Reply
:icongamexpert1990:
gamexpert1990 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014
Interesting takes, yes. But also completely logical, especially if one takes the time to think about it (speaking of taking time to think about things, I can't beleive I didn't notice my typo - "Coffeev").

Until you had Coffee point it out, I never really thought about the fact that "Princess Gaia(/Nightmare Whisper)" FORCED the ponies caught in the fog to be happy. I can also easily see why he thinks that such existence would be so empty.

I do believe the quote: "Ignorance is bliss," and a day with such joy might do some good for some people/ponies, though I'm not sure if even I would want it to be an indefinite/unending experience... (and that comment may prove just how naive I really am, but I already freely admit that.)
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014
Might want to read the rest of Swirl's stories... things get a lot more interesting for him as time goes on.
Reply
:icongamexpert1990:
gamexpert1990 Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014
Unless I'm completely mistaken (which is quite possible), I do beleive I have read the rest of your "Coffee Swirl" chapters... Including your collab with MysteryEzekude's "Neo Stream" (which I have also read his chapters, now), I have read up to "Coffee Swirl: Responsibility." If you have posted any other chapters that I am unaware of, I would be pleased if you would let me know...

p.s. Unrelated note, but one of these days (I'll try to make it soon...) I plan on reading your "Seeds of Magic" chapters...
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
Nope, that's everything. There were plans for another, involving :iconkendell2:'s version of Ditzy Doo, but it fell through thanks to my laziness.
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:icongamexpert1990:
gamexpert1990 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014
Well, I'm glad I can consider myself truly caught up in at least one recursive now...

If you ever get the inspiration to do another "Coffee Swirl" chapter, I'll try to keep my eyes peeled for it.

p.s. I can't believe I forgot to favorite this! Let me fix that.
Reply
:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
Swirl appears a lot whenever I decide to RP ponies. He's become something of my default OC, but I haven't actually written anything for him in a while.
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(1 Reply)
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
Now featured on the Pinkie Pie Recursive Fanworks Theater with comments from the ponies. alexwarlorn.deviantart.com/art…
Reply
:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
Thank you.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013
Welcome. 
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
STILL PART OF THE PONY POV SERIES AND STILL LOVED!
Reply
:iconacalanthide:
Acalanthide Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Student General Artist
I've enjoyed this. This character took all of my objections to Gaia's day and voiced them. Kudos!
Reply
:iconkendell2:
Kendell2 Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
Very nice story.

It's nice to see a character who is on the flip side of the coin and hates her. I actually did have Derpy hate her in my fic, but she finally forgave her in the end.

Still, interesting character, and very sympathetic too.

It is really nice.
Reply
:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
WORD OF AUTHOR: YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY OPTIONAL CANON. PLACE THE WORDS 'OPTIONAL CANON' UNDER YOUR STORY TITLE.
Reply
:iconmysteryezekude:
MysteryEzekude Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Alex Warlorn linked me to his Butterflies fan-fanfic to help me with mine. When I first started reading, I was thinking "What does Coffee Twirl have in common with my character (Neo Stream)?"

But as soon as I read the words, "I hate Fluttershy," it all became clear to me. Because my character, Neo Stream, feels the same way about Fluttershy and the Princess Gaia incident, it didn't take long for me to empathise with Coffee Swirl.

Alex also suggested that Neo and Coffee should meet each other one day and exchange their current feelings. I find this concept very interesting because they'll know that they're not alone.
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
I did write a sequel to this if you want to read that; it actually goes a bit more in depth with Coffee Swirl's feeling and life after the Gaia incident, and a third part is in the planning stages to give him some measure of closure over the whole thing. I did consider the two of them meeting after I'd written this, but I should probably hold off on it until I've gotten part three over and done with.
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:iconmysteryezekude:
MysteryEzekude Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds fantastic! I look forward to reading them and also working with you in the future! ;)
Reply
:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
Just check my gallery for the second one and the third one will most likely be added to Alex's list of fan stuff when I do it.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
This is an excellent piece, and while I feel it misses a few important details (that you couldn't have known about) I think the argument is well-presented and convincing. The major issue I have with it is that she says she was MADE happy. It's less that she was made happy, and a whole lot more that she was deprived of any reason to feel otherwise... Sort of like if Ahab had said "Take my pain, my sorrow, and all my anger!" and right before he threw the spear, that's exactly what happened. "What? Whale? Eat my leg? What bull! I shall go play know. Lalala~!" Much less satisfying ending, and probably a horrible butchery of the actual book, but it's what I'm going with.
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
Well; Coffee Swirl's a 'he', but other than that... I could argue that depriving them of things that made them feel anything but happy is basically the same thing as making them happy. Plus, since Coffee Swirl doesn't have the omniscient point of view that us, as viewers, get to experience; as far as he knows, she did make him feel that way and he reacted as such.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
Perhaps the same effect, but the two are rather monumentally different...one is forcing someone to something that doesn't fit the situation at all, and the other is alleviating the pain of a particular memory by making someone forget. Sort of like McCoy in Star Trek 5, except far less "Life-on-the-line"-y.

Didn't get that about Coffee Swirl, thanks for the notice. :)
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
Maybe it's just me; but I really don't see them as being all that different. Probably because they leave the same bad taste in my mouth and both sound utterly wrong to me. Sorry, but it still sounds like splitting hairs to me.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Eh, no prob, splitting hairs is part of the fun for me, arguments like this especially. (Calling it an argument implies conflict, rather than conversation. It's a debate, dork.) Oh yeah, thanks. Anyways...it's less about whether or not it's wrong, but rather the effect it had on the populace. It's sort of the same reasoning behind vacation days at work: you're likely to be happier, and thus more motivated, after you've taken a break from the routine you've fallen into. In this case, it had the added effect of temporarily removing all the psychological issues left behind by Discord, giving them good memories to go with the bad and a way of dealing with the trauma. That's the reason everypony is saying "We should totally do that again." I agree with you that that would be a bad idea, but you can't just say everyone's wrong for wanting it, since it had a genuinely positive effect. If that all makes sense. :shrug:
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
It's probably because I'm pretty much a cynic at this point, but I'm going to have to disagree on this as well. I've always been one to say that you take the bad with the good, or you're only living half a life. I know that this will cause a lot of waves by saying it; but, what Fluttershy gave them here is escapism, getting away from the problems without dealing with them. At best, that does nothing for their problems overall; at worst, it makes them worse when they snap back to reality like it did with Coffee here. And, since escapism is a bad thing, I actually do want to blame the ponies for wanting it; I'm really sorry, but that's just how I see it.
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:iconpumpkin-tlof19:
pumpkin-tlof19 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
No apologies needed, dude. Debating a point is a solid part of such a philosophically waxing story, and everyone is going to have different opinions of different events. Granted, so far I haven't found anyone willing to argue that Dash did the wrong thing, but that's because she didn't and everyone knows it. :dummy:

Anyways...I easily agree with you there; escapism is not something to aspire to. I don't think that's quite what this is, though...it's more like...huh. I don't know what it's more like, actually. It's not that they want to escape their troubles, it's that something happened that made them happy, so they want more of it. So it's more like a drug addiction: equally bad if you feed it, but it isn't really something you can blame them for if they're trying to get rid of it. Further, one hit gives you good vibes, but if you can't get your next after a few days you won't bother with it anymore. If that makes any sense to you, great job, you know how my brain works better than I do.
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
But the drug addiction analogy actually makes my point too; Coffee's POV here made it clear that they DON'T want to be rid of it, they want it back. And, thanks to my cynicism, I do blame people who go back to something like a drug willingly. On top of all that, the wording in the actual story series itself makes it seem like 90-95% of Equestria would willingly go back to being foals again under Princess Gaia and view it as a good thing.

That's why I wrote this, just so that there was somepony who wasn't as crazy as Diamond Tiara's 'tutor' who would say that 'No, it's not a good thing'. It's why I specifically called it a vent piece in the author's comments; since that's basically what it boils down to.
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(1 Reply)
:iconbrightdark89:
BrightDark89 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Student General Artist
This is just the opposite of mine, where my ponysona's loyalty to Fluttershy gets to his head, driving him insane and making him a Nightmare. It also summoned some Windigos. Also, Twilight had already made Blues, Carrot Top, Apple Bloom, Sparkler, Dinky, and Zecora call Fluttershy by her real name with some memory spells.
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:iconzaku789:
zaku789 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
THANK YOU! im SOO tired of people taking flutter side on this whole shit. good work man.
Reply
:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
I don't have issues with them taking her side, I just feel that the other side of the argument is glossed over a lot more than it should be.
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