Can I get you something to drink? I know my flank has a cup of coffee on it, but it's not like it's the only thing I have. No? Okay, hope you don't mind if I indulge myself though; I sorta need this right now.
I'll be honest, I didn't think you guys would notice me; I mean, I'm a nopony. I don't contribute to the community outside of selling them coffee when they need a jolt to wake up; I don't have anything big in my history; I'm not related to anypony famous... actually, why are you here? My friends from work called and asked you to see why I'd been acting odd lately? Huh, go figure; nice to know they care I guess. Yeah, I guess they're right, I have been acting a little weird for a while now.
No, no; it's not that. I went to the shrinks same as everypony else when I snapped back from Discord's tricks. I gotta tell you, being a sentient pool of coffee that other ponies were trying to drink is an experience I never want to go through again. I guess I don't need to tell you that I got over it, since I'm drinking this now, but it was only recently that I could so much as touch the stuff without being high as a kite on anti-psychosis drugs. Save the jokes, it's still a valid expression even for us Pegasi.
But yeah, I really did get over the whole Chaos Day thing eventually; or as close to it as anypony was going to get. I'll still have the occasional nightmare about it, but it's nowhere near what it used to be.
'What's bugging you then'? Wow, real professional language there, buddy; thought you were some sort of 'royal interviewers' or something. Anyway, I guess it's time I came clean with everything; and I know you're not going to like it.
I hate Fluttershy.
Or 'Princess Gaia', to use what everypony's calling her.
Yeah, yeah; I know about her speech where she said she'd accept that ponies hated her. And no, I didn't throw the rock; but whoever it was has some serious respect from me, their a lot braver than I am. I was cowering in my house during the whole Celestia damned festival they threw for her; utterly terrified that they were going to bust in my door and wrap me in whatever brainwashing they had to be under. And it never stopped; they still sing her praises, just not to her face anymore. I hear them in the shop, every day, talking about how wonderful the 'Day of Innocence' was; it's all I can do to bit my tongue, force a grimace on my face and keep doing my job.
Go on, say it, I know you want to. You think I'm being 'unfair' or 'too hard on her'; that's what everypony I've told this to has said. Well, you can go buck yourselves too; same as all of them. I know what it's like to be the only pony making sense around here; they all want to go back to being a bunch of stupid foals, they want to stop thinking and just be a bunch of mindlessly happy idiots for the rest of time! They need a good smack in the face wake-up call, that would put a few heads back on right!
...Okay, okay; I'm calm now. No, I don't need a doctor to give me a sedative; I'll keep it under control from now on.
Of COURSE I have issues with it! Everypony's singing her praises for what she did to the sky, with only one or two ponies like me who actually have the sense to realize how utterly wrong what she did is.
Yes, I was happy during it; and that's the point! I flew my wings off to get away from the fog, and it still caught me; I was turned into a foal, same as everypony else, and she made me happy because that's what I wanted. Don't you get it; she made me happy to be a foal when I was a fully grown pegasus! She made me happy to run around like an idiot, not thinking about what I was doing! She made me happy that I was living in a pedophile's dream world! Oh don't give me that look! A world of trusting foals, none of them able to think more than five minutes in front of their face, not able to be anything other than happy to be alive and not able to so much as recognize danger when they saw it; it was entirely a dream come true for sickos like that!
I don't care that it didn't happen; all it would take was one pony smart enough to find a way to counter her gaze and they would have had a field day. Magic is magic, even the princesses can be fooled and deceived; why should she be any different?
And let's not even get started on the fact that they're praising her for doing the exact thing that Discord and Nightmare Moon did before her: Twisting Equestria to fit her own vision of what's 'perfect'. At least those two had the decency to let you be horrified! But no; she made you love it, every second of it as she turned the entire world into her own personal playground! She didn't give us a day of innocence, she gave us a day of ignorance; we lost everything we learned, everything that we'd become over the years, the entire concept of what was right and wrong was gone and replaced with her own values on how the world should work. She was 'mommy' and mommy's always right.
What were we supposed to do if she hadn't been stopped (Yes, 'stopped'; there's no way she'd give up on this willingly.)? Were we supposed to just stop living? Oh yes, we would have been 'alive', but we wouldn't have been living. We'd be stuck as a bunch of ignorant little brats; never aging, never learning, never actually growing up and getting all the wisdom that comes from it. AND WE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY ABOUT IT!
They all keep going on and on about how great it was, how great it would have been to stay that way. They're so stupid, I'll go so far as to say they never actually stopped being that way; don't they realize what they'd sign up for if it had happened? Don't they know how... empty that existence is.
No, I'm not okay. Did you know that I've looked at all the pills I still have? I almost considered grinding them up and putting them in this coffee; I've got enough that it would be nearly twenty times the recommended dose. That would be enough to end it all. 'Suicidal' is an ugly word, but yeah, you can call me it; how could I not be? In the passed two years, I've lived through three mad deities warping the world to their own desires; two of which warped the ponies in it as well. I just want it all to stop; I want to be able to wake up and not wonder if I'm suddenly going to be turned into a lizard, or have the sky fall down around me, or Celestia knows what else!
...look, can we just stop with the questions now? I don't want to talk anymore.
No, you don't need to call the doctor or one the shrinks; I'll be here tomorrow. Stop by, you can have a cup on me; your choice and everything, the least I can do for you listening to me.