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February 11, 2012
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Back again?  Gotta admit, I didn't expect to see you after our little interview last time; I expected you to toss out the transcript, sweep me under the rug and not even bother to show up for the free coffee I promised after what I said.

Yeah, I know it's cynical to think that way, but it's not like I haven't got cause to think like that.

Most ponies don't like it when I tell them what I think of their precious third princess; every reaction's a little bit different, but they mostly react one of two ways: They either tell me to 'shut up' and threaten to make me shut up if I don't.  Or they just give you that sad little shake of the head they give the ponies in the nuthouse when they know they can't fix them.

Seriously?  Don't act all shocked.  I know, damn well, what Fluttershy said during her festival; but did you honestly expect that her words would keep ponies from being violent?  They don't want to hear what they don't like; and right now, they don't like that not everypony is worshiping the ground that she walks on.  I can guarantee you that whoever it was that threw the rock isn't feeling too well anymore.  They love their mother-princess; and Celestia and Luna help the ones that don't.

I even know why they're doing it; convinced they're somehow 'protecting' her from ponies that want to do her harm.  Let's just clear that up right now; I can't speak for everypony who doesn't like her anymore, but I don't want some sort of sick revenge.  Yes, I hate her for what she did, and I hate that nearly everyone- pony or otherwise- seems to love her for it, but I'm not going to turn into some nut job out to make her suffer for it.  What would it solve?  I'm not going to sleep better at night if I beat her up; the nightmares won't stop just because she's in the hospital; the world won't be any less out of my control if I buck the living hell out of her.  For the love of Celestia, I'm not crazy!

...yeah; you've probably guessed it, but I've got more of an issue with the ones that don't fly off the handle than the ones that do.

It's one thing to deal with a violent pony, you get those in every day life and- like every stallion- I'm no stranger to the occasional scuffle, but it's something else entirely to be looked at like you're mentally deficient for thinking the way you do.

It doesn't help that the only ones that have things to say like I do are the crazies, like that one idiot who usually stands outside the shop screaming about how coffee is laced with drugs to keep stallions infertile.  Well, he changed his tune and was saying that Fluttershy's song (I heard about it secondhoof) was laced with post-hypnotic suggestions; I don't know what happened to him after the customers chased him away, but it couldn't have been good.

That's why I haven't told anypony what I have to deal with, haven't let them know that I have to self medicate to make it through some days, that I have to get drunk some nights to stave off nightmares.  Then, I have to drag myself to work in the morning to make my bits and hope that I'm not every bit as crazy as they all think I am.

Yeah; you hear something long enough like I have, you start to think that maybe there's something to it.  The very, very, very few ponies I've told outside of you have all told me, various ways, 'Are you crazy'; and the way I've been living for a while now is probably going to put me on the fast track to the asylum before too much longer.

The nightmares?  Well, other than the ones that involve Discord coming back and me being drank up, there's one that I get a lot.  I'm in my bed, just waiting for sleep to come, when I'm suddenly roped up by a bunch of foals dressed to play cowponies and buffalo and they start to drag me off.  I can't seem to get free, no matter what I do, and I'm begging them to stop and let me go; they just giggle at me and say 'Don't worry, you're just confused; mommy princess Gaia will make it all better.'  I'm dragged to to her cottage at the edge of Everkind forest, only it's suddenly a modest castle with those butterfly winged guards of hers around it; they don't listen to my pleading any more than the foals.  I'm dragged into the throne room and... and she is waiting there.  'Oh, what a poor little colt; you're so confused.  Here, let me help you.'  She spreads her wings and that fog of hers is back; I can feel it change me, I can feel it changing my mind, and the next thing I know, I'm a smiling 'happy' little foal again.

That's usually where I wake up; sometimes, it goes a bit longer and I watch myself run off to play with the other foals, all the while I'm trying to scream that this isn't right but nothing happens.  Needless to say, it's not a happy dream for me.

I haven't told anypony else, no.  Look around you; I have no one to tell it to here.  They all want nothing more than to actually have something like that happen; and I won't go to the crazies for comfort; otherwise, that makes everypony else right about me and my mental state.

'What do I want'?  Eh?  I'm not sure I get- Oh!  Now I see.

Well... I know that not a lot of ponies will like this, but I want them to tell me it's okay to feel the way that I do.  I know Fluttershy said that it was okay, but that's not going to stop them; like I said, they think they're in the right or are protecting her from me.  I want to know that they're not going to somehow convince her to bring back the fog and turn us all back into foals again.  I want to know that I can finally stop looking over my shoulder, waiting for some crazy alicorn or draconequus to show up and completely turn the world on its head again!

A few more times like that, and I really will be crazy.
STORIES ARE NOW OPTION CANON WITH MAIN SERIES

Another piece related to :iconalexwarlorn:'s Pony POV series.

I'll be honest, after I'd written and posted the original story about Coffee Swirl, I kind of became dissatisfied with what I'd covered in it. It was more a rant about Fluttershy and the Princess Gaia arc than anything else; admittedly, it got the point I wanted to across, but it didn't do a lot else.

I'd ended up doing the same thing I was trying to make up for: Glossed over something in favor of writing the story. While you could argue that this is a good or a bad thing (or maybe both, depending on the situation), I felt that I needed to make it clear what Coffee was going through that was making him so suicidal as mentioned near the end of the last one.

This covers why he feels the way he feels and acts the way he does and, I'll be honest, I'm glad I ended up writing it.

(Possible part 3 MAY follow; but I'm not going to make any promises on it)
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
STILL PART OF THE PONY POV SERIES AND ITS STILL LOVED!
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:iconacalanthide:
Acalanthide Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh boy. Poor, poor Coffee Swirl. I know the feeling. He's going insane. He is the only pony thinking logically and he gets shunned for it. On top of that, he keeps having nightmares. I would have them too if I was in his position.
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:iconkendell2:
Kendell2 Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
And it continued to get worse. I really can understand why the poor guy is suffering like he is. He's being driven insane by nightmares, fears that another insane deity is going to show up, and generally is being ostracized for thinking logically. I hope things get better in future parts.
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:iconalexwarlorn:
alexwarlorn Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
WORD OF AUTHOR: YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY OPTIONAL CANON. PLACE THE WORDS 'OPTIONAL CANON' UNDER YOUR STORY TITLE.
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:iconmysteryezekude:
MysteryEzekude Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmm...At first, I thought Coffee Swirl was a mare. Nevermind. Anyway, this new chapter has pointed out a difference between him and Neo Stream.

While Coffee Swirl has no intention of seeking revenge on Fluttershy, Neo Stream does so in his dreams and becomes a Nightmare murdering everypony he hates (starting with Princess Celestia and ending with Fluttershy).

I wonder what Coffee will think of Neo after sharing his dream with him...
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
I think I can sum it up with this:

"...and they say I'm crazy."

The whole thing with Coffee is that he's just a normal pony who's trying to live his life and cope with everything that's happening around him. He fully acknowledges that revenge isn't going to make him feel any better, or solve any of the problems he's suffering through. He just wants somepony to listen to him and tell him that it's not wrong to feel the way her does; most of his problems stem from not being able to vent to anyone without getting chastised for it.

Though, hopefully, part three will end up giving him what he wants if nothing else. Though it's going to be really interesting, no matter how it turns out.
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:iconmysteryezekude:
MysteryEzekude Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What a coincidence. Neo Stream wants the exact same thing and has the exact same problem. And I believe that both him and Coffee will get what they want by meeting each other.

But with their one and only difference (i.e. opinions on revenge) in mind, things could still get rough for them. For example, Coffee might be the one chastising Neo for his homicidal dream.

So, is this planned for part four?
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:icondragon-of-twilght:
Dragon-of-Twilght Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2012
Coffee will most likely get what he wants in part three; so, if he and Neo do meet, he'll most likely be a slightly changed pony from it all. And, while he won't chastise Neo for hating Fluttershy, wanting to kill everypony whose ever wronged him in some way will probably make him really scared to be around Neo. I would expect Coffee to have several things to say to him about it though.
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:iconmysteryezekude:
MysteryEzekude Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds fantastic! Well, good luck with part three! I'm looking forward to it!
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:iconmysteryezekude:
MysteryEzekude Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds fantastic! Well, good luck with part three! I'm looking forward to it!
Reply
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